I am not sure when I took up millennial expressions, but I cannot come up with better words to describe a text message that I received yesterday from a guy that I have been seeing. The message asked how my libido is when the sex is good. Who uses that word? The word libido is right up their with the words, moist, couth, and pubic. Moreover, what sort of answer is this guy hoping for? What is the end game in making such a cringe worthy inquiry? What would he do with this information if he had an answer to this question?
I consulted with my best friend on the matter. I asked the obvious, “Am I being overly conservative? Why is it that this makes me cringe?” She could see where I was coming from. She also said something that resonated with me. So many women in today’s world are perfectly fine with this sort communication from a man they just started seeing. She is right. Unfortunately, for this man, I am not one of these women.
We live in a sex-crazed, digital world of low standards. I would much rather be single for the rest of my life than change my standards of how a man treats me and communicates with me. I am worth getting to know before jumping into sex talk. I also want a man that takes a better read of the current situation. Nothing in my communication with this man invited such a crude inquisition.
I now need to decide how to disengage with this individual. I did not message him back, and I am tempted to never write back. This is what is called “ghosting” in millennial speak. I think it is bad form, but at the same time I do not really want to engage in a debate with him. I just don’t want to see him anymore.
I am going to wait until he texts me again and decide how to disengage from dating him based on his next message. My guess is that he will apologize “if he somehow offended me.” This essentially puts it back on me for being offended. Our society now casts a shadow on a person that is offended by something. I am actually not offended by it, I am repulsed by it. In my mind, there is significant a difference.
Another possible outcome is that my lack of a response signaled to him that he is not getting me into bed anytime soon, and he will decide to disengage. That would not be a bad outcome. Somehow the idea of ever seeing this guy again is a major turn off. No part of me wants to ever be physical with him out of fear of what disgusting thing he might say next.
This is an example of why I always take things slow in the world of dating. Good things come to those who wait.