The chaos of the world seeps into minds, our hearts, and our daily lives. Republican members of congress are now being accused of being a part of the planning of the riots that took place at the White House. The idea that these accusations could be true is terrifying. The House of Representatives voted earlier this week to impeach President Trump for the insurrection of the White House. Trump ends his presidency with the worst approval rating in history. Biden, who ran on the promise of unity, takes office in less than a week, and we are further from unity as a nation than we have ever been.
The pandemic continues. There is controversary over the distribution of the virus. I am not sure if this is specific to Houston, or if it is nationwide. Our local news has reported a number of stories where wealthy people appear to have better access to the vaccine. There is no doubt that the vaccine is in short supply. No one in our home meets the criteria for those eligible for the first round of the vaccine, so we have no first hand experience as of yet.
Our nation’s economy continues to run on stimulus, as in government printed money, which both sides know cannot last forever. The boys have adjusted extremely well over the past year to our financially cautious lifestyle. A buy one get one free coupon for a “bundlet” at Nothing Bundt Cakes generated a great deal of enthusiasm in our home this week. The boys are headed there to use their treasured coupon today.
Today is brother time day. Brainy Bird is taking Little Chirp to the Nothing Bundt Cake store and to TopGolf. Before the pandemic, we purchased a one year membership last year that lets us play for free whenever we want. We will not be renewing our membership, which expires soon, so the boys want to use it as much as possible the next few weeks.
Brainy Bird continues with incredible diligence on his scholarship applications. This takes a tremendous amount of weight off of me. As expected, he did not find out on Friday if he made it to the next round of the major scholarship that he is pursuing. He did get an email that said he will be informed of his status on Tuesday. Late news is better than bad news!
I feel stress and anxiety like never before. I often wake up in the middle of the night, and I find that I cannot fall back asleep. I find it harder and harder to get my mindset ready for a day of positivity.
It is difficult to sort out the source of my stress. Is it simply that so much is going on at work? Is it that Brainy Bird’s in the process of making one of the biggest decisions of his life? Is it financial stress? Is it fear of what the future holds? Is it sadness of knowing the incredible amount of tragedy so many have endured this past year? Is it concern for the many people that I know that are serious health issues? Is it fear of the pandemic? Is it fear of the instability in our government? Is it media driven fear? Is it a feeling of isolation as I so rarely socialize with friends? Is it poor life choices of not enough exercise and too many processed foods?
I find myself afraid to dream. I began 2020 with big dreams and big plans, and I spent most of it in isolation at home worried about a world that I have no control over. I feel as if I live vicariously through Brainy Bird’s dreams. He is not afraid to dream big, and he is not afraid of failing. I would like to reconfigure my mindset to again be unafraid.
It is by design that today is brother time day. I plan to spend my day thinking, reflecting and most importantly setting goals for the new year. I believe that reflecting on the many things that make my heart happy is the first step in reconfiguring my mindset. I believe that setting goals is the first step in overcoming my fears. Once I set my goals, I will begin outlining the steps that I need to take on a daily basis to achieve these goals. I will take 2021 a single day at a time. With each step, I will leave my fears, stress and anxiety behind me.
Here’s to truly turning the page on 2020 and looking ahead with a positive mindset.